By Jackson Santy ’13
What’s your name?
Is that a joke?
It’s a common question that most people ask upon introduction.
Oh ha ha–Abby Wirth.
Do you go by any other nicknames, code words, aliases, nom de plums?
So, how stoked are you for Christmas?
I am soooo incredibly stoked.
Asking for anything special?
A unicycle—those are pretty cool. And a dreamy date to the Christmas dance.
Would you consider me to be “dreamy”?
How about heavenly?
Yes – I can definitely see you as heavenly.
In that case, I’m totally free that night—just for the record.
Are you serious?
Moving on—So are you making any New Year’s resolutions?
Pump more iron for sure–get jacked—hit up the gym more.
So what activities do you partake in at school?
I was just in the school play and I used to play basketball on JV.
On a scale of 1 to Lebron James how good are you at basketball?
Oh so you’re one of those humble types, I see how it is. How about a game of one on one?
Let’s go for it.
I’m actually pretty good.
What do you want to be when you grow up? And I swear if you say princess I will end this interview.
I’m not going to say princess although that would be nice. A space cowboy.
Name three current NFL football players.
Randy Something, Troy Polomallallo that one Manning guy.
Good enough for me.
Are we done yet?
Why? Am I boring you?
No, but it’s time for rehearsal.
Oh then we should definitely go.