By Alex Stanley ’12
THE ROUNDUP

Ms. Guffey’s question from February 2012 “Teacher’s Pet”:  Who is your favorite student and why?

Well, I have a lot of favorite students.

But, I will say my favorite student is the one who graduates actually having fulfilled the grad at grad.

Where were you born?

Chicago, Ill.

Where did you go to college?

I’ll list them all: Creighton University, University of Notre Dame, University of Portland and Oxford University.

Was there anything you didn’t major in?

Yes. I did not major in fencing, botany and of course I did not major in math.

What kind of music do you listen to?

I listen to all kinds of music.

But to be quite honest, I listen to a lot of my own—being a composer. Sometimes that means listening to a half completed song, or revisiting a song I have made recently.

What genre are those songs?

Those would be Christian Liturgical songs.

What do you do when you are not teaching?

I am doimg one of three things: coaching, parenting or doing some sort of extracurricular activity.

How long will it take you to master the tuba—10 minutes or 20 minutes?

Well, I think closer to 20. I’ll say 18 and a half.

Do you have any hidden talents?

I would say no. What you see is what you get.

Do you think you can kill a person or an animal solely using the power of thought?

I am not a student of psychokinesis. I do not believe psychokinesis is possible. Therefore, I do not.

How do you like being a soccer coach?

I love being a soccer coach, basically for three reasons.

I love the game, personally, and being a part of it makes me a much more global citizen.

Secondly, I get to see students outside of academics, and I get to see them in an academic light.

Thirdly, because I get to teach the lessons that I normally teach in my theology classes with something as cool as athletics.

Have you written a textbook for soccer?

No. I would say that I do have one in my head though.

What is so alluring about going to the corners?

You have very good sources, my friend.

Well, let’s put it in two ways. Soccer is known as the beautiful game, and going to the corners with the soccer ball makes much more beautiful shots and plays.

There is a second irony, though. Normally, in ancient times, you would send a student to the corner if they were misbehaving. It was a form of punishment. So, the more you go to the corners, the more you are able to punish the other team.

What can students do to get an A in one of your classes?

You have to be as excited about scripture or the Catholic Church’s teachings or music as I am.

Secondly you have to see my classes as just as much of a priority as chemistry or math.

Anything under the table—like chocolate cake or unmarked checks?

From time to time, if you can beat me at table hockey, I may consider a boost in the grade.

But seeing as that has never happened, I have not faced that yet.

Pose a question for the next teacher interviewed.

What is your brain food?