By Jackson Santy ’13
THE ROUNDUP

For security purposes I’ll need your name, year and student identification card.

Umm—my name is Kate Miller, I am a sophomore and I don’t have my ID on me.

No ID? How am I to be sure that you’re a Xavier Gator? Not proving this could make a mockery of the Xavier Gator column, the classiest section of The Roundup.

I can check my backpack if it’s so important.

Well—you are wearing an official Xavier skirt, I’ll take your word for it—this time.

Ah ha! Found it. It’s 21****. (Omitted)

Awesome—I’ll be sure to remember that.

Wait have we started the interview yet?

No—I’ve just been writing down every word you’ve said in the last five minutes just for fun.

That’s an odd hobby.

Since this is the October issue, I’m going to ask you some Halloween themed questions. What is the scariest movie you’ve ever seen?

“Drag Me to (Heck).” Wait—is Brophy allowed to put the word (heck) in their magazine?

Young lady, The Roundup is not a magazine! It’s a professional paper and the Brophy student body’s number one source for news—behind high school gossip, Facebook and the P. A. system.

That’s some noteworthy paper you got there.

You bet it is. If I were to say to you “Trick or Treat” would you give me candy?

No. I’d give you cough drops.

But “Trick or Treat” is an ancient agreement that’s been around since the dawn of time. You are required by the prophecy to provide me with candy.

I’ll give you a candy bar if you give me a candy bar.

That sounds like a good deal for me! Let’s go to the Great Hall now.

It’s a date.