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Date night tips from a guy who eventually went on a date

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Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it is officially that time once again. The smell of chocolates and roses mixed with the sounds of silence that are my love life. Yes, I am talking once again about Valentine’s Day, my favorite holiday of the year, besides many other ones but who’s counting. This isn’t my first time giving Brophy boys tips, but now we are back with more date night tips for this special day. I know you missed me, and if I am being totally honest, I missed you too. A lot has changed since my last tips including the fact that I have officially been on a date! No longer are the lone nights scrolling instagram reels, listening to Zach Bryan or falling asleep to Batman Begins. Regardless, date or no date, I am still the guy who can list off every ingredient on a chocolate box, the guy who watches way too many romcoms, and the guy who will come in clutch with 10 new date night tips. I hope you remember some of my old ones because trust me, they work. So sit back, turn on your favorite love song, and enjoy the ride.

 

  1. First off, you should celebrate Arizona’s birthday. This gets overlooked every single year and I am sick of it. Go on a hike to celebrate Arizona and, this is the most important part, instead of chocolates as a gift, give them a cactus. 
  2. Sprinkle in lyrics from a Bruno Mars song throughout the date. If you don’t understand that, maybe fix your music taste, but I’ll help you out anyway. Say you’d, “catch a grenade” for them, or that, “their eyes make it look like the stars aren’t shining.” If you’re feeling kind of risky, ask them to “jump in the Cadillac and put some miles on it”. That’ll be sure to secure you many more dates in the future.
  3. Buy a Cadillac. Enough said. 
  4. Ask your partner to marry you. If you’re lucky, they’ll say yes, in which case congratulations and good luck on the rest of your life. If you’re even luckier, they’ll say no. You’re in high school boys, as nice as it would be, you can wait a few years. 
  5. For dinner, go to Arriba’s Mexican Grill. If you want to know why that’s a good date idea, email jkelly@brophyprep.org
  6. Buy one of those Xavier carnations that they sell at lunch sometimes. Believe me, nothing says I love you more than a one dollar carnation from Walmart. Also, when writing the note that goes with it, have them read it out loud. 
  7. Go to the zoo! I cannot express this enough, the zoo is by far, hands down, 100% the best date location. Trust me, the smells of kettle corn and cotton candy mixed with the smells of the wild are a perfect combination. You could even protect them from those pesky ravens who fight you for food. And they say chivalry is dead. 
  8. Don’t bring up any topics that could start a fight, like your favorite type of candy. All I’ll say is skittles ruined more than just my teeth. 
  9. Never get your significant other a Stanley. They will choose that over you any day of the week. And that is a promise. 
  10. When you drop them off this year, leave them with a brand new one-liner. Instead of, “you Leonardo Di-captured my heart,” say, “You make my heart beat Taylor Swiftly.”

 

I promise if you use at least one tip on your date that you are guaranteed another one afterwards. However, I should add that I have no proof of this and there is no guarantee, but the tips work, just trust me. Anyway my friends, this is my final list of date night tips. I hope you enjoyed them because they came from the deep recesses of my heart. If you ever want more advice, or some pretty awesome date night tips for regular nights, I’m usually somewhere around campus playing Wingspan or chasing the distant dreams of my past. I’m looking at you good grades. I wish I could come back and give you more next year, but sadly I’m a senior. It’s been a fun run and I hope you find these to be useful and allow for a perfect Valentine’s day. From me to everyone going on a date, have a wonderful time. And for all those without dates this year, in the immortal words of Bob Dylan, “don’t think twice, it’s all right.”

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Renzo Moran, Editor-in-Chief
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    RenzoMorFan#1Feb 8, 2024 at 9:31 am

    I can tell you’ve been on a date!

    Reply