Mr. Mike Nelson ’97 imagines turning Brophy to Hogwarts

By Alex Stanley ’12
THE ROUNDUP

Mr. Douglas’ question from February’s “Teacher’s Pet”: Would Brophy be better if it was designed as a fortress?

Yeah, I’m thinking Hogwarts castle style – up on a bluff overlooking a large lake. Maybe station dementors around the facilities as well.

Where were you born?

Here in Phoenix, Ariz.

What was Brophy like in the ’90s?

There was a lot more plaid around campus, coupled with a lot of flannel. There was definitely a fair share of Birkenstocks as well – no socks.

Did you know Mr. Damaso?

Yes, I knew Mr. Damaso and Mr. Steve Smith. Damaso used to wear the same get-up, just no tie.

Where did you go to college?

Santa Clara.

Did you like it?

I loved it. Santa Clara was great.

I interviewed Mr. Danforth in an earlier edition –

I’m sorry.

And you both carry the tradition of Brophy grad to Santa Clara, then back to Brophy. Are you like a young Danforth?

(Danforth impersonation voice) I guess you could say, yes. He had an amazing influence on my life.

Does he know about your impersonation?

Yeah, he does.

Does he believe it to be accurate?

You bet.

The only difference between Danforth and me though is that I would never run over an old lady in my Hummer.

Who would win in a monotone-off, you or Mr. Glosser?

It depends on the subject.

If the subject is sports, Mr. Glosser would win by a long run. If the subject is music or style, I would definitely win.

I heard that you are leaving next year, where are you going?

Dubai.

Why would you go there?

It is just like Phoenix, only it has an ocean – I will be teaching art over there.

Have you heard of the soccer club Al Ahli?

No, I haven’t. Are they any good?

Not sure, all I know is that Italian international Fabio Cannavaro plays there.

You are fan of the iPhone, right?

No, I am an Android man.

You know that the iPhone is much better than the Droid.

Really, that’s funny, because at least the Android can make a phone call without getting dropped.

So can the iPhone with a case.

Androids don’t need add on accessories to do their primary function. Anything designed by a man in a mock turtleneck, I am suspect of.

It’s like relying on Danforth for your political views.

How can students earn an “A” in one of your classes?

Breathe.

Nothing else, no unmarked checks?

Well, a sense of humor helps.

Pose a question for the next teacher interviewed.

What’s the best way to eat a dog? A hot dog, that is.